Serene Cactus Eats The World

1103-bakers-street:

cryingbloodviolently:

redpancla:

when you get to school and realize you forgot to put on deodorant 

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I AM SO FUCKiNG SICK OF TUMBLR

HOW THE FUCK CAN I RELATE TO THIS ARMADILDO

I DONT FUCKING KNOW BUT I CAN

I CANT TELL YOU HOW BUT I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS ARMADILLO FITS HERE FUCK TUMBLR YOUVE RUINED MY LIFE

armadildo

omgphantastic:

cooldadmemes:

dntdodrugs:

I’m sweating cause this dudes game shits on mine


GOD FUCKING DAMMIT





not only is this line impossible to pull off but I think my friends hate me

omgphantastic:

cooldadmemes:

dntdodrugs:

I’m sweating cause this dudes game shits on mine

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

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not only is this line impossible to pull off but I think my friends hate me

romangodfrey:

i-kan-do-zat-i-kan-do-zat:

SO I REMEMBERED SEEING A VIDEO ON HERE ABOUT GORDON RAMSAY SHOWING HOW TO PROPERLY COOK EGGS. I WANTED EGGS FOR DINNER, SO I LOOKED UP THE VIDEO AND MADE THEM.

I TWEETED GORDON ABOUT IT AND I GOT A RESPONSE

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NOT ONLY DID I GET A RESPONSE, BUT I GOT A COMPLIMENT. HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT? 

many years I’ve been looking for a way to properly measure someone’s level of success in life and I think I’ve found it

daveshady:

conbox:

"Every girl has dreamed about carrying a child".

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once i had a dream that i was pregnant and then i gave birth and it was a litter of kittens but i dont think that counts bc im a boy

lannistred:

if this isn’t the most motivational tweet in the entire world idk what is

lannistred:

if this isn’t the most motivational tweet in the entire world idk what is

dobdob:

commandertano:

  1. Disney didn’t kill the EU.
  2. The EU hasn’t died unless you and everyone else let it die.
  3. Lucasfilm made the decision to create new stories.

Get to know these facts.

I spent a good minute staring at this trying to work out how Disney could possibly kill the European Union.

So I asked my boyfriend to talk dirty to me in Bulgarian during sex

altraragazza:

It was incredibly hot, until I recognized the word “tomato” and asked him what he was saying. He then admitted that he was explaining how to make a salad.

lanatura:

Milky Way Reflections (by Matt Payne Photography)

lanatura:

Milky Way Reflections (by Matt Payne Photography)

jakesus:

phantomdoodler:

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use this charm to protect your posts from unwanted canadians

anything between these leaves will be invisible to our mountie friends as it will blend into their natural environment

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Why  would you reblog a blank post?

burgerkid:

trying to run away from my problems like

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nuditea:

strong contender for the worst sentence i’ve ever read

nuditea:

strong contender for the worst sentence i’ve ever read